Taming The Inner Critic

We all have the mean voice in our head who is glad to tell us how much we screwed up and how terrible we are.  It's glad to point out how others are so much better than we are and that we are constantly falling short of the mark.  

This voice can be devastating.  Many people might suggest that you try to ignore this voice. When ever you do it just keeps screaming louder and louder.  I’d like to suggest a different way of dealing with this inner jerk; embrace it.  

The ultimate purpose of this inner voice is to keep us safe.  So in that way we have to thank it for caring. It is also not the most well informed voice that we have in our head.  It believes that if it shames us enough we will never take a dangerous risk and try something that we might fail at. It believes that if we never try then we will never get hurt.  

Rather than fight this nasty voice I often try to thank it for being worried about me.  I let it know that I hear it and that it has nothing to worry about. I assure it that if I fail I’m going to pick myself up and learn from my failure.  I let it know that I’m proud of myself for trying and that I took action on something that mattered to me. I let it know that I’m more capable than it thinks. I will keep trying because I know that each failure makes me stronger and that what might seem like a failure at the moment could turn out to be a success later on.  

So yes, embrace and thank your inner critic.  Let it lash out with it’s terrible advice, let it be there and thank it for worrying about you but don’t embrace it’s message.  You know more than it does. Beating people up is never a good way to teach them anything or to keep them safe. People typically learn better through encouragement, patience, and love.